Marriage

I got to attend a wonderful wedding this past weekend.  It was my cousins in New York.  My first time being to New York by the way though I was not able to be there for very long so this isn’t about my trip to New York as much as my observations of marriage that I came away with over the weekend.

What a drunk fest.  I had heard about weddings in New York that they go “all-out”, and I found out first hand that’s not a lie.  There were so many wardrobe malfunctions that “all-out” didn’t do the party justice.  I know drinking and partying is the way that people like to celebrate as nonsensical as it may be sometimes, but it does make me ponder, as I have with other facets of life for this generation, if we place the same kind of value on marriage as we once did.

Think of it in this way,  America just passed their marriage equality laws right?  Statistically over 50% of marriages regardless of religious inclination will end in divorce.  And on top of that the millennials are getting married later in life, the average age is up to 28 now.  So society has truly embraced the ball and chain mentality and we can prove it by the statistics.  That marriage is not something good, not something to be desired, because we as young people are encouraged to have fun first and spend our money and travel and do all those things we want to enjoy and be crazy first, before we settle down and get miserable.  And IF we choose the miserable road of life and get married, it’s only a coin flip of whether or not it will last anyway.

So i find it incredibly interesting that when marriage was treasured, and held high, and honored, that allowing marriage between anything other than a man and a woman was not a conversation.  But as marriage has taken a back seat to just about anything else in life now as far as importance, fun, and pleasure is then the equality talks began and concluded.  What’s to risk right?  Marriage is already degraded, it can’t really take a lower spot on the totem poll.  In another 50 years will anyone still be getting married at all?

This wedding I was at was beautiful, it was loud, and it was fun.  There was a killer DJ, an open bar, and a whole lot of dancing.  And as there should be at any good wedding there was a feeling of love. One that I can not shake, and I must pose the question to myself directly.  What have I been taught about marriage?  If I do get married, how do ensure that it lasts?  I don’t remember learning any of that i school.  No one has taught me how to be a good husband, or for that matter instilled in me a desire to be one.  What do I do with that?

 

Dan

What the heck is Jikity?

We all have those little nicknames that follow us right?  Maybe it’s from a sport that you played in high school and was something your buddies called you in the locker room, maybe its something your parents called you since you were a baby, or maybe even it was a negative comment that you owned and began to turn it in to a positive.  If you were able to do that BTW I commend you.  Well in this case when I was a little boy apparently I liked the movie Pinocchio.  Not because I liked the main characters as much but because I really liked Jiminy Cricket.  That being said this has probably happened to you before when your parents like to let you know how you used to say certain words, you know, because they were so cute and precious.  So for me, it was Mr. Cricket, I used to combine the words Jiminy and Cricket, so it came out something like Jikity….

So Jikity became my nickname.   It stuck with me unfortunately which has never been a problem except through high school.  Everything seems like its a problem in high school doesn’t it?  It just gets magnified in high school and for whatever reason stupid little things become so much more important among those peers.  Now that I am an adult, it’s not a problem sharing this story, but in high school, it was embarrassing to make this story public and became a source of ridicule.  I stuck true to my roots though and did not try and dump the name as those closest to me still call me this to this day.  It’s nice to have a nickname, it’s an act of endearment.

When I decided I was going to begin my own blogging site I knew that I wanted it to be called jikity.com .  I ran in to a problem though, the URL was ironically already taken.  I thought, who in the world could have come up with that word or be called the same thing, and cared about it enough to make a website out of it.  I was really taken back and a little frustrated.  I had to track it down and figure out who owned it and then buy it off from that owner.  It took me around 6 months to accomplish this to get the url for myself, but i finally did.

I must admit that my curiosity was up.  I tried to to track down what this old expired website was about because I just couldn’t wrap my brain around anyone else with my nickname.  Using the wonderful thing we call google i was able to find some old screenshots from this website in the late 90’s:Capture

That guy in the upper right hand corner is apparently named Jake.  Jake shared my nickname though I am not sure how it cam about for him.  This is a screenshot of his old home page.  Jake blogged before blogging was a thing.  With no structure or explanation each photo on the home page is a link to a surprisingly vast website including blogs, family photos and descriptions, as well as a detailed dossier of his travels around the US with photos and blogs for each different city.   I don’t know where Jake is today, but kudos to him for building an awkward website before anybody could do it, and i hope to carry on and honor the Jikity name.

The Skinny Jean Life

Admit it, you’ve all by this time worn them, or at least tried them out of curiosity.  So here’s my question to the masses.  Regardless of how skinny jeans feel to you or how you feel in them.  Can a man in skinny jeans still be considered manly by the worlds standards?  If you’re a man do you feel manly?  Do you think that the standards of what it takes to be considered manly have changed?  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  If women everywhere are still willing to date and marry 150 lb. males in button ups, skinny jeans, a vest, and a man bun what does that mean.  I feel like that wouldn’t have been the case 10 or 20 years ago.

Let me tell you what made me begin to think about this.  Statistically we who are millennials probably grew up in a broken home, many of us probably had dad’s that bailed.  So there is certainly reason for not growing up as “manly” as the previous generation, and maybe we didn’t want to because look where being “manly’ got us.  It got a whole generation fatherless!  Now I’m not saying that we should just all swing the other way however and everything will be peachy, let me explain. No there is too much, let me sum up.

Not to long ago on my way back from work I had my first automobile brake down.  I was driving, I heard a bang, it started steering funny, and I was able to pull safely over to the side.  Now the good news was that it was simply a flat tire and nothing worse happened to the car.  The bad news was I had a terrible truth to face.  I realized that as a grown man I did not know how change a tire.  So what was next, well I quickly decided  to call a local towing service to come give me a hand, and while I stood there on the side of the road I had to start wrestling with my own manhood and what this meant for me. Continue reading The Skinny Jean Life

Why we Blog?

I find the progression of how people choose to use their voice over the last 50 years fascinating.  As an American citizen I have grown up with the idea and principle of free speech prevailing.  Though taught that ethically to say something harmful to or about someone was not to be said, which always seemed to be a moral contradiction to the bill of rights.

So how do we, as the up and coming generation, balance the unhindered power to exercise our right of free speech through blogging, and the necessity of mankind to be able to love one another so we might be able to coexist.

What am I talking about?  The pending train wreck that will occur when our generation are the ones ruling the world with no check and balance systems of how we actually treat or value one another.  We are a generation that thrives on impulse and emotion as opposed to wisdom and act harshly while at the same time holding on to the stance that we hate conflict.  So we do our dirtiest deeds behind a keyboard.  You see we are all bloggers,  every one of us.  Blogging didn’t even exist 10 years ago but today every single one of us executes our ability to offer our opinion.  Some of us do it with some restraint and only when its profitable, others have no filter and no desire to stop.  Yes, we are all bloggers, have a facebook account? Blog.  Twitter account? Blog.  Snapchat? Still a blog.  Ever leave a google review or yelp review? Blogs.  All of these are avenues to express your thoughts on a general forum.  They are all blogs, only the venue changes. Continue reading Why we Blog?

Welcome to My Blog

Hi,

I’m Dan,  and this is my blog about blogging and our current generation.

For my first post here I would like to outline some of the topics I will be touching on within these posts.  I hope to accomplish, as many have done, challenging you to think about the current state of our generation (millennials) regarding its practices, status, habits, and projected future.

I would like to share my thoughts and observations as they come to me on a day by day basis, or maybe weeks, who knows?   I hope you enjoy, and I hope its thought provoking.

Dan